It's been a while, but we're back!

It's been quite a while since I posted, and so I admit to being a very bad blogger. So I'll try to sum up the past few months.

December was Jamie's birthday and Christmas. Jamie had so many gifts that we actually had to save some for Christmas because he got too tired to open all of them on his birthday. Probably it would be best to open gifts before dinner instead of after next time. We had a nice dinner at Olive Garden, and Lil B came and gave Jamie a betta fish that we've named Alpha Beta. He loved his chocolate cake, too! Here's his favorite present:


Christmas was so much fun. We spoiled each other rotten, but especially spoiled Jamie. Here's another photo:


He started walking a few steps at a time in December, and just in the last week he's started walking pretty much everywhere without holding on. He loves his freedom! He's trying to walk as quickly as possible now, and he's so proud of himself. He got his first molar in, too, and has 3 others working their way down in fits.



In January, he slowly got used to his new skills and started calling out Mama, Dada, and Nana on a regular basis and now uses them when he wants each of us specifically all the time. He's started playing with the dogs. He tries to get Tigger to chase her, and sometimes she tries. He's learning to pet the dogs gently, and Murphy loves it! Jamie has learned to try to throw or roll a ball for Alex, which of course thrills Alex no end. Murphy is desperate for Jamie to play with him. Jamie had his hearing test in January, but when they tried to do the test, he freaked out and they couldn't do it. We'll have to go back again and try a different type of test and hopefully he'll be more cooperative.

We're expecting a new baby in June. We had a level 2 ultrasound in January to look for a CDH, but everything looks good. It looks like the diaphragm is intact, but of course it could have a hernia on the left, but still not be breached by the abdominal organs yet, so we'll keep our eyes open for symptoms, just in case. And at the ultrasound, we did find that the baby is a girl! Her name is Rhiannon, and we'll call her Renna. Jamie will be a big brother, and I think he'll be thrilled and very loving. So far she's just as active as Jamie was, but I haven't been able to feel her as much because the placenta is anterior. Julie got me a fetal doppler for my birthday, and I've been able to hear her heartbeat whenever I want, and it's wonderful! :) I found a doctor in Crown Point who will do a vbac, and I can have my doula teacher as my doula! It's great! We're taking a Bradley childbirth class, and so Michael is getting the training I got from my doula classes. It's been really wonderful. I did find out from one of the other mothers that her doctor does vbacs, including vbacs after primary sections. I did talk to a doctor at the same practice and he wouldn't, and he'd been the one I heard would do them, so I didn't interview any others. Oh, well. I'm happy with my new OB.

Jamie's crib was recalled last June, and I only found out two weeks ago. I found that the manufacturer is giving vouchers to those who had recalled cribs after sending them certain information and photos of labels. We'll be able to get a new crib with a credit of the highest retail value of the crib. I've picked out a crib that doesn't have drop sides and it converts to a toddler bed and to a full bed. We'll have to order it and it should only take a week or two to arrive. By then Jamie will be ready for a toddler bed. He's been sleeping on the mattress on the floor since we found out, and the first night was really rough, but since then he's been a pro about it. He seems to love the freedom of being able to get up and leave the bedroom after naps and to get off and on the mattress to play with his toys, even in the middle of the night.

I've had a few FO since my last posting, but the most recent is a baby sweater for Renna that is just adorable. It's a little too big so it can't be a take home outfit like I was planning, but she'll get some wear out of it once it fits. I still need to make pants to go with it. I have a blanket waiting to be made called Diamonds for Rhiannon. After reading the name, I knew I had to have it. I've been working on a sweater for Jamie, too and I'm about halfway through. Then I'll make the February Lady sweater for me.

Post-op Check-up and General Update

Well, it's been a month since I posted. We've been so busy getting back to life and helping Jamie recover. Now that we've been home, I've gone back to normal TA duties and research. I had a few nightmares about Jamie when we first got back, but I haven't had any lately, thank God. We've been getting the house ready to put on the market. Jamie will need his own room soon, so we'd like to buy a bigger house and despite the current market it looks like we won't have any problems selling ours and buying another nice house. Jamie has been such a good boy. He developed a yeast infection from the antibiotics, and has a recurring diaper rash from highly acidic poo. We heard from the doc today that the rash is likely from the flora becoming imbalanced in his gut from the time he went without food in the hospital (and likely some before due to the pinched bowels) and that it should clear up with some yogurt. Simple enough fix. We also went back to cloth because of his butt issues. Jamie's been a babbling fiend since we got home! He really sounds like he knows what he's saying. He has much greater attention and energy now, and is less fussy just as a general rule. Of course, don't let him get bored! And he fights sleep still. Actually, that's been getting better since we've been able to reestablish night time rituals and schedules. He had been waking up 3 times a night and I was losing my mind! For the past two nights he's only woken up once, and for a week before that it was back to his normal twice a night. So I definitely like this trend. He hasn't fought sleep as hard since we got him back on schedule and with his night time routine, which makes life a lot easier. He is also cruising now and trying to take steps without holding onto things. He can't stand up yet without holding onto something, but it's only habit and not actually necessary anymore. Once he can stand up on his own, walking won't be far behind. He laughs like an insane child when we hold his hands so he can walk where he wants to go.

We had his post-op check up in Indianapolis at Riley today. It went very well, and Dr. West doesn't need to see him for a year. A year! He's just doing that well. She said that there are no medical constraints on what he can do from now on. He's completely normal and healthy and should continue to heal. She was impressed with how fast and how well he's healing. He weighed 20lbs 1oz. That's below what he weighed before he got sick, but it's a normal weight for his age. It's a little low still given his height, but that's okay. We really upped the table food and the calories to bulk him up starting 3 weeks ago after his pediatrician appointment, and since then he's gained 3 lbs! :) He likes his food. Anyway, she told us what to look for in case of ruptures, and said to check his hearing again at 1 year old. There's a 20% chance he'll have some form of hearing loss, though they don't know why the correlation. After talking with her, and having a clean bill of health for my boy, I just cried. I was so happy. Going back to the hospital reminded me of how we could have lost him and how sick and in pain he was. And now he's healthy. It really is like a nightmare that we woke up from. I was so happy, I cried on the way out. Until this appointment, I kept wondering when the other shoe would drop. I kept worrying that he'd get sick again and this time God would say, "Oops, sorry, I meant to take him last time, so I'll just take him now". But it looks like that isn't going to happen. We're so lucky. I'll always be a little paranoid, but at least I know we can go on and be "normal". I'll always get scared when he gets a sniffle, diarrhea, or vomits. I'll always worry about our other children as they are conceived, are born, and grow. But at least I know what to look for, and now I know to trust my instincts. And thank God for all the people willing to pray for a child in need, and thank God for modern medicine to give them the best possible chances, and thank God for answering our prayers. God gave me Jamie twice, first when I conceived him, and second when he survived surgery. I'm just so grateful.

Home and Feeling Great

Walking out the door and going home.

In the Riley Wagon, on his way out.

Dance! Dance!

Eating any solids he wants!

We got to take Jamie home on Thursday the 18th, and got home late in the day. Jamie did so well! He rode in the car and was a happy boy. He slept for a while, played by himself for a while, and I played with him for a while, so the 2.5 hour drive went by pretty quickly. He got a little fussy in the last 10 minutes or so, but I was able to distract him until we got home. He had a messy one, so it's not surprising he was cranky. Then he went to sleep without fussing. Amazing.



Since we've been home he's been a new boy. He's calmer and happier and not so fussy. He likes to snuggle now. We can sit with him on the couch, just holding him, and he is happy. Before, he'd just have a fit if we weren't walking him around or at least bouncing him while sitting. And he goes to sleep for naps and bedtime without having a fit. I rock him and out he goes. No crying! Nothing! And then when he wakes up he plays by himself for a while until we hear him and get him, and he's not upset. Before, he'd always wake up from naps crying piteously. Only in the mornings would he wake up happy. It's just amazing. He has a lot more attention for play now. He will amuse himself with his books and toys for up to an hour now! Before you'd be lucky to get a half hour. He also wants me a lot more. He loves his Mama. I hold him and he's totally calm.

It seems like before I could hold him and it would help, but he'd still be miserable. I thought and had been told that he was just a fussy baby, a "high needs baby". The truth was that he was in pain because his innards were jumbled. But you know what's the strangest part? I had wondered if everything was "where it should be" inside his torso. I even asked the doctor once at his 6 month check up, and she said yeah. She had no reason to think anything so rare was going on with him, and it's pretty hard to diagnose without a chest x-ray, so I can't blame her for not finding it. But it's so weird that I just kept wondering that since he was born. I mean, seriously, who questions whether or not their child's organs are in the right places? He sometimes had breathing problems, but the doc said he was healthy and that it was probably a virus or allergies or something like that. I just chalked it up to being a paranoid first time mother. That's what I've always heard about mothers who constantly question about the things their child is doing, and I didn't want to be unreasonable. FORGET THAT! From now on, I will absolutely trust my own instincts. I will trust my mother's instinct.

Oh, and he still is a feisty boy. He is still my child, after all. ;)

Off Tubes and Feeling Fine

On Saturday we got a room in the Ronald McDonald House. Since I'd slept with Jamie Thursday and Friday (while Michael slept in another room in the hospital) and didn't get more than a few hours each night, Michael insisted I sleep in the RMH that night. After that we switched off. Jamie had some bleeding through his NG tube. They say that happens when it's on continuous suction because it'll grab part of the stomach sometimes and cause it to bleed.



On Sunday, his pain was a lot better. He still had to have his meds on time, the morphine every 3 hours and the Tordal every 8. He was a bit more awake, but seemed unhappy and bored. I it occurred to me to play with him, and he played a little. It made him very very happy. And the nurse brought him a stacked rings toy that lights up when you up the rings on the pole (whatever that thing is called). He didn't smile or laugh, but he was happier. Respiration Therapy puts him to sleep and makes his coughs more productive. He had another bleed in his NG tube. I just hate that. Blood should stay in the body. Oh, and he tried to pull out his NG tube. I don't know what came over me, but the moment I saw him grabbing it, and it was out about an inch or so,I just pushed it back in. And then I wondered, "what was I thinking?" I just shoved a tube back in his body, and did I hit anything? Well the nurse came and checked it out and it was fine. And the doctor said the next day that that's all they would've done, and I should sign up for nursing school. :) We went to mass at one of the chapels and the priest was wonderful! He gave a moving sermon about looking to the cross (or crucifix) and giving up our burdens to God and looking at it not as a sign of suffering (as in Jesus' Suffering, or a symbol of our own suffering) but as a sign of Victory. It's a sign of Jesus' Victory over death, Victory over Sin, and it's a sign of our victory over death and sin and suffering and faith in God. It was something I needed to hear.




On Monday, he smiled! The priest who gave the sermon on Sunday came over and performed the Sacrement of Healing on Jamie. In case you're wondering, it's not "Last Rites", it's for anyone in need of healing. Just because it's also given as the last of all the rites doesn't make it only for the dying. He played a bit more, and during one such time, he looked over at the crib toy and smiled briefly. Such a beautiful sight! Later in the day, he even tried to laugh. He was allowed to have water in small amounts, and managed it no problem. He got a fever late at night and they gave him a Tylenol suppository which took care of it. They also did blood work to see if he had an infection either locally or generally. (The preliminary cultures came back today and so far nothing. The doctor, Karen West who is just fantastic, said it's likely a hormonal response to his labored shallow breathing.) He was also able to go up to 4 hours sometimes before needing his meds. His x-ray came back looking pretty good. His heart had moved over into pretty much the center of his chest. The left side is still thickened, but it looks healthy, as do the lungs. They continued with the Respiration Therapy every 6 hours, which he really enjoyed and his lungs continued to get clearer. He still mostly refused to cough because it hurt to much.



Yesterday, they took out his NG tube early in the morning, and he started playing with Michael right away. Around noon they took out his chest tube. And we got to hold him! It was the first time since I handed him to the surgical nurse for surgery, and it was wonderful! It was an even happier moment than when I held him after he was born. And he tried to stand up and move around, and was much more active and alert and didn't cry every time he moved or was moved. And with those tubes out, we didn't have to make him wear those no-nose arm guards to keep him from trying to pull out the NG tube. And I put a new sleeper on him. Much better than the hospital gown! He had more x-rays, before and after they pulled the chest tube, and everything looked good. No noticeable improvement over the previous day's x-rays, but he still looks good. The lungs looked inflated.

Today, he went as long as 9.5 hours between morphine doses! He's having a much better time with the pain, but now that he can move around and we can hold him and play with him more he gets a little sore from it. They also said he could have soft food, starting slow. He's tolerated it pretty well. The doctor said they might send him home tomorrow! Seriously! Tomorrow! We are a happy family. :) He's also back to flirting with people. It's been several months since he did that! Happy happy day!

Update 1:15pm Sat. 12 Sept.

He is more awake now since the anesthesia has worn off completely, but he still mostly just sleeps. He's having some trouble breathing so Respiratory is going to come down to give him some sort of treatment with percussion something or other. Yesterday they had to adjust his morphine dose so he could get it more often. Every time it wears off he gets pretty upset and wakes up. This morning he started trying to cry, but that hurt him, so he just whimpered. It was time for more morphine. They're also going to add Tordal (anti-inflammatory non-steroidal pain med like ibuprofen) which should really make him feel better. He had more x-rays and his heart hasn't moved over toward the center like it should, and his good lung isn't fully expanded yet, and the other lung is still partially collapsed. This morning is when he started having some more trouble breathing, which is why they're calling in Respiratory for some treatment. They said it would make him cry, which is what they want so that he'll cough this junk out of his lungs and dislodge other gunk. The nurse brought in a crib toy that plays music, much like the one he has at home. I gave him his blanket, put it in his fingers, and he grasped it and went back to sleep.

A Mother's Worst Fears Become Reality

So here is my Darling Boy. He had the stomach flu and just didn't stop vomiting. So I took him into the pediatrician and saw a new woman (only appointment we could get, but she is seriously awesome I may switch to her permanently), and she recommended admitting him for IV fluids. He was so dehydrated that it took 7 tries (7 TRIES!) to get the IV in. During the 6th try they were holding his arms and legs down but one of the nurses had her arm close to his mouth and he reached up and bit her. BIT HER! He decided that if the only part he could control and use to defend himself, then by God he was going to use it! Such a spunky boy! Thankfully it didn't break the skin. They took a chest x-ray. After asking about it, they finally said the doctor would come in to discuss it with us. The x-ray showed he had a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia on the right side. From birth there has been a whole in his diaphragm and his abdominal organs have been able to travel into his chest. It is a life threatening condition that is caused by a congenital defect which develops during the 7th to 10th weeks of gestation and survival is 80% with modern medicine. (Which means there's a 20% mortality rate, don't think I didn't see that!) What happens is that two "flaps" of the diaphragm don't grow together properly, leaving a hole, usually on the left side. This is often found during ultrasounds or diagnosed within days of birth. With Jamie, his ultrasounds looked normal, and he was very healthy and growing normally until recently and so there was no suspicion of a defect. They think that when he got the stomach flu, the pressure of vomiting pushed the organs up farther making it obvious in x-ray. Anyway, they then flew him to Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis by MedFlight helicopter so they could have time to stabilize him for surgery. We followed him by car, arriving 3 hours after he did. Surgery began at 8am and by 11am they had finished. So that was the faster end of the spectrum. I don't think I've ever cried to hard from relief in my entire life. Mama and Michael had to tell people I was crying happy tears. I guess I sounded rather devastated, which I was just from the whole "I could lose him" fear. They had no complications, no bleeding issues (no transfusion), the organs looked pretty good, the lungs looked better than expected, the diaphragm had enough of it's own tissue that they were able to just sew it up with adding anything to cover the hole. The liver, colon, lower intestine, part of the upper intestine, part of the stomach, and part of one kidney were all in the chest cavity. The lung that was compressed the most was partially collapsed. I don't know how much of it was working vs. filled with fluid. The chest tube is still in and the fluid is draining out. There is a bruise on the lower intestine, but it didn't look bad enough to remove, so the doctor just left it to see if it will repair on it's own. After the surgery, the lungs and heart had moved to fill 75% of the chest cavity, which is apparently super wonderful since sometimes the "squish" is permanent. His lungs don't seem to be underdeveloped, which is again amazing given the condition. They are giving him calories via the central line to help him gain weight and stay strong since he already lost weight and hadn't eaten in so long. Okay, he'd eaten, he'd just not digested. Small difference, I know. He is now on morphine every 3 hours. Every 4 was too far apart. His fluid output isn't matching input, which is probably him building up some lost fluids. His urine looks much better than before surgery, but it's still a bit cloudy, so we'll see what the doc says here soon. A lot of people have been praying for my darling, so please continue praying. I know it's greedy of me, but I still want as many miracles for his recovery as I can get. He is a brave wonderful strong courageous boy. We need him.

A Winter Sweater in Summer, and Some Pumpkin Stocks

I finished a sweater for Jamie a few days ago. I thought about blocking it, then decided to leave it alone. It looks good as is, and is an acrylic/wool blend, so blocking is only marginally successful, in my experience. So here is the front.
Here is the back.
And here's a closer view of the back. I'm also making a hat to go with it in simple rib and stockinette. I do have a pattern for a cabled infant hat, so I may make that one as well. This was a Dale of Norway pattern (17504 Cardigan), using Patons Decor Sand and Sea. The hat that I had done earlier (it was a bit too small) was really just too cute, but somehow the sweater falls short of expectations. I do like it, and I'm particularly enamored of the buttons, but it's not as cute as I had hoped. Mama loves it, though. It worked up very fast, and was very easy to do and carry around, so I'll definitely be doing more baby sweaters. I'll probably do this sweater again, but in a solid. I'd like to do it in 100% wool but I don't have access to much pure wool yarn. I'm seriously tempted to order some online, but I'm so picky about color that it'd be like gambling. Eh. Maybe I will.

I also finished my purple scarf. I adore it! Thank you Amanda for the the yarn! I used a reversible cable pattern (here) that was very easy to do, and to memorize. It's so soft, and has a nice thickness without being bulky.

So I've been working on doula training and attended one birth. Congrats, John and Julie and baby Tommy! He's a gorgeous boy and has a shocking head of luscious black hair! I've learned a lot, and will continue doing everything I can to learn more and get better. The one birth I attended was very hard, but very rewarding. It's my opinion that no woman should give birth without a doula. Labor is a very hard process, and it's very easy to get disheartened and stress out, which causes labor to be complicated and harder than it needs to be (oh, how life is like that, also!). Doulas provide much needed emotional and physical support to laboring women and their loved ones, and gives them the tools they need to voice their wants and needs to each other and to the medical staff. The nurses at Memorial that we dealt with were wonderful, and the doctor was, too, but we didn't deal with her as much until the end. It was really hard work, and after being awake for 29 hours on only 4 hours sleep, I was spent. I tried to eat and get some sleep, but it was too late, I got a massive migraine. It wasn't until the next day that I felt better. One thing was so funny. Michael came in to check on me and went to throw out something, and stopped. He picked up the knotted off trash bag and held it up at eye level, and looked totally confused. In fact his expression said, "Dear God, what is this?" As he stood there examining it, I tried not to laugh even in my near dead state. I told him then how I'd thrown up in the trash can and knotted off the bag so it wouldn't stink. His face was blank for a moment, then said, "Oh. Okay." And then he left taking the bag with him. I found that inordinately amusing, and still do. He's priceless. Poor man didn't know how sick I was until then. The image of him standing there holding up that plastic bag at eye level, totally baffled and trying to analyze the contents, not realizing he was holding a bag of vomit amuses me still. HAHAHAHA.

I bought some new bras today. SOOOOO sexy! I weaned Jamie for health reasons (migraine management), and so now I don't need to wear the nursing bras and I don't leak anymore. I wore nursing bras or sleeping bras (a looser sort of athletic bra for nursing women) constantly, just as was recommended by the books to reduce sagging, and I my breasts are just as perky as before I had Jamie. Even so, when I went to Victoria's Secret for a fitting, I was prepared for a change, and there was a difference. Before I had Jamie, I was a 36-D, and now, at the same weight, I'm a 34-D. Yep, I'm a happy woman.

Tomorrow is our one year wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe! Two years ago Michael and I hadn't even met. One year ago we had our family and friends come together to witness our vows before God. It was a perfect day. Now we are happy and having a wonderful time together. I am even happier now than I was then. Even when the man annoys me, he is my perfect match. It's amazing how we fit together. We have so much fun just being together, just hanging out. Actually, if he didn't annoy me sometimes, I'd think he was too good to be true!

Well, sorry for the long rambling post. I know it's been a while, and it's light on crafting content, but I've been very busy. Child rearing, research, family life, doula training, the Diamond Rainbow quilt, Tommy's Garden Wall Quilt, my Garden lap quilt, Jamie's sweater, my purple scarf, three baby afghans, my first socks, etc... And so I leave you with photos of the growing things which Michael has tended so well this year.