Goodbye Tigger

We lost Tigger on March 23rd. We think she had a heart attack early in the morning on the 19th. We took her to the vet in the afternoon, thinking at the time that maybe she had tweaked her back and was in some pain since she was panting. The panting was from advanced heart disease and fluid on her lungs. We battled for days to try to get ahead of the fluid and ease her breathing. Sunday she stopped eating and we tried forcing her to eat but using a syringe with really tempting foods. But she wouldn't eat it and only swallowed a little. On Monday the vet put her on what he called his "trump" card. And it didn't help at all. Finally, on Wednesday the 23rd, we talked to the vet again. She wasn't getting any better. Her breathing was still labored. She was lethargic. And finally, she was refusing food and water. We tried force feeding her, but she was strenuously resisting. She wasn't yet suffocating, which was a blessing, but it was inevitable. We didn't want her to suffer. So we agreed it was time to say good bye and let her go. More time with her would just mean starvation or suffocation and we couldn't let her go through that. We said goodbye and let Jamie kiss her and pet her. Mama and I took her in the car and Michael stayed at home with the kids. I got out of the car to close the gate behind us, and when I returned Tigger was having the last spasm of a heart attack. Mama looked at me and said she thought she had just died. She had. She died in Mama's arms. We didn't know what else to do so we went to the vet's office. The assistant brought her back to the vet and they had us go into a room. They brought her back to us confirming that she was gone and let us say goodbye again. The vet was wonderful and said some nice things about her, that she was a good girl who'd worked really hard and could rest now. She'd earned it.

She had worked so hard since she was 4 and had her massive blown disc with other discs going periodically, to the point of being on permanent steriods for the last 2 years. Mama loved her so much and she was her baby. Despite all the difficulties she had after her blown disc, she kept going. She hated not being able to sleep on the bed with Mama, but she knew she was loved and lorded it over everyone else that she had a bed all to herself. She peed on the floor and we cleaned it up after her. We kept her well hydrated and she only had one bladder infection, which is amazing and miraculous. She had great spirit and spunk. I'm grateful that she went on her own terms in Mama's arms. She was loved and she knew it. She lived her life doing what she wanted the best she could and loving and living to the fullest. And when she died, I can't help but think it was on her own terms according to her own will. She wasn't put down. There were no extreme measures or interventions by people she didn't know and love. She was in the arms of love, closed her eyes, her heart stopped, and she was in the Arms of Love. She lived according to her own will, and died the same way. We miss her very much.

She’s up there now dancing and playing, ears back as she runs.