Goodbye, Murphy.

We lost Murphy two days ago. He'd had an ear infection and wasn't getting better, so Monday we made an appointment for Tuesday to have blood work done. Then I went out to make him come in from the snow. I had to lead him in. Half an hour later he had gone into shock and we rushed him to the vet. The vet found there was a large mass in his belly that he hadn't felt there the week before. He said we could try some heroics and do surgery and see what it was. He suspected a bowel twist or the spleen. I said do it. It wasn't the bowel or the spleen. His liver was full of tumors and there was very little liver left. He hadn't ever seen a mass that big. Since Murphy was only 3 years old on October 9th, he must have been born with it. So they covered up the messy parts and let me say goodbye. I wish I could have told him how much I loved him before he was unconscious. Before he went into shock. So here's what I'd want him to know and what I hope he somehow does know: Murphy, you were a wonderful dog and a fantastic friend. I love you. You healed me after Brandy died, which I didn't think was possible. I hope we were able to give you the love you deserved and needed. You were my boy, and you were perfect. This tiny house is an empty cavern without you. Jamie misses you and is sad you're gone. When we feed the others, when we get to where you should be getting food, Jamie says "Murphy gone" and is sad. And it breaks my heart all over again. You will be missed and you made a difference in our lives. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for being with us. I love you, Murphs.