Thursday, March 10, 2011

Lent

For Lent I'm not giving up anything. Friends and family agree I've given up enough already. So I'm doing something for myself. I haven't been able to write in Charlie's journal or write up his birth story so that's what I'm going to do. For an hour a day or every other day, but no less often, I'm going to have time alone for reflection. I'll write in the journal, knit, think, reflect, meditate. It'll be time for me to just be.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Kelsey - That'll Do

My sweet Kelsey, more wolf than herder, left us to be with her mama Brandy and her friends Tigger and Murphy. I'm sure Brida is there, too, shaking her head at all the fuss they're surely making. Hopefully they're all playing with Charlie and watching over us. Kelsey was always a wild one, spirited and fun loving. She was a fierce protectress of her pack. We miss her very much.

She started to decline in health before Murphy left, then got better for a while to pick up the slack in protection duties that he left behind. Then after Tigger, she started to fade again, until we brought home Sophie. She then taught Miss Sophie Sunshine all she knew about being the alpha dog, and they snuggled a lot. Then at the end of November, we nearly lost her and found out she had laryngeal paralysis. We treated her with sedatives and changed our patterns to keep her calmer. We even put a sign up on the door that said, "Quiet please, baby sleeping" so anyone coming to the house wouldn't knock on the door. Then Saturday February 5th, she had a bad attack. We all sat with her and waited for the sedative to kick in. We stroked her haid and tried to keep her calm, and she was happy with us being there. The next day, we decided to not go knitting as we usually do. About an hour before we were going to get ready for mass, she had another attack. But this one was worse. We gave her the full dose and waited, trying to calm her, stroking her fur, but she couldn't seem to get really calm. I felt her heart was becoming erratic, and even thud really hard once, and I knew she needed more help. So we bundled her up to go to the vet's office but before we could even get her in the car, she was gone. There hadn't been enough time for the sedative to get into her bloodstream and work. Less than half an hour after it started, she was gone. Her attack was sudden and out of the blue with no excitement to trigger it. I guess it was just time for her to go home.

She was our fierce defender. I feel like she gave to us more than I gave to her. I didn't always appreciate her the way I should have. She worked hard to be our guardian. But she doesn't have to anymore.



You were a good girl, Kelsey. You were the best protector and worked hard to keep us safe. That'll do, girl. Go play with your Brandy now.