Offspring Update

Jamie is doing really well. He was sleeping in his new toddler bed for the longest time, and even started using a pillow. He had almost 2 months of teething his molars which caused some serious sleep issues. Nobody ever told me it could cause such problems! I was worried it was something we were doing. But for the last 3 days he's gone for a daily nap and to bed at night pretty much voluntarily and didn't cry at all! It makes life so much easier. He hasn't demanded to play in the middle of the night either, and last night he woke up and put himself back to sleep.

A couple of weeks ago, he decided he didn't want to sleep in his bed anymore, and moved his pillow and blanket to the narrow space between the foot of our bed and the wall/corner of the room. The mattress fits perfectly there, so we moved his mattress, got a new mattress for the bed (convertible crib/toddler bed) to see if he wanted to keep using his bed, and he hasn't looked back. He likes the floor. So we'll use the crib for Renna and when we move we'll get a twin bed for Jamie. He should be ready by then.

Jamie crawls up and down stairs by himself, and will walk up and down them if holding someone's hand. He walks like a pro and thankfully has stopped falling down from being uncoordinated. He also runs, which is highly cool. He can just barely reach doorknobs now, but can't turn them yet.

We're already potty training him. He tells us when he has to pee on a pretty regular basis, but doesn't tell us about the other yet. This is the only way to solve his diaper rash since it's because of his super sensitive skin and not from the poo itself. I'm very impressed with him that he's done so well and really taken to this potty training business.

Renna is growing well and I have only 7 weeks until my due date. We've decided to do a home birth. I found a midwife, and Louise will still be my doula even though now she'll have to drive an hour and a half to get here. I'm looking into getting a pool and laboring in the water, and maybe doing a water birth. All of this came about after a bad visit with the OB. She said some things that were completely counter to what she had been saying before. I know sometimes she gets crabby if she feels like she's not being given the proper amount authority and recognition. I just didn't need to worry about her mood when in labor and didn't want to have to fight with her about not doing unnecessary interventions. A vbac is healthiest and safest for both Renna and me and the safest place to labor and birth is in the home whether it's a vbac or regular vaginal birth. When Michael found out I wanted to go to the hospital only because of insurance and cost reasons, he was not happy with me. He wanted a home birth just like I did, but thought I wanted to be in the hospital just in case there was a need for an emergency c-section. And since the time it would take to get me into the OR is the same whether I'm laboring in the hospital with a surgeon on call or coming in from 5 minutes away is still a minimum of 20 minutes, it doesn't help to be in the hospital. I'm really very comfortable with this decision and I like the midwife. I am so much healthier and more comfortable in this pregnancy than I was at this point with Jamie. I really look forward to being able to give birth without extensive interference from impatient doctors.

Knitting Miscellany and a Ewe-Nique Store Found

I've finished four sweaters since December, two for Renna and two for Jamie. Now I'm working on a pair of socks and a scarf for Janessa for Christmas. Soon I'll be starting Renna's blanket which will be in a lace weight held double. I'll also be starting (over) another pair of socks. I'll also be starting another sweater, this one for Renna, then one for Jamie.

I got the KnitPicks options interchangeables and I love them. I also got the fixed circulars in the smaller sizes. The wires of the KnitPicks needles are the best I've ever used, very soft and pliable (even without boiling!). I also like their yarn. I've made both of Jamie's sweaters and one of Renna's from KnitPicks yarn. It's inexpensive but still excellent quality.

I've also found a new favorite yarn store in Goshen called Ewe-Nique Knits. I heard of it from someone in a knitting group I've started going to that meets once a month. I also met the owner online through Ravelry. So Mama and I went one Saturday, and I got some great yarn. I found two that I made into a sweater for Renna, and one was the lace weight for Renna's blanket. I also got the sock yarn there on another trip. I love this place! We even made the 45 minute drive for a knitting night, which we'll be doing again soon.

Daddy Needs to Be Here Right Now

My husband had me peeing my pants today. But let me start at the beginning. A Red Robbin restaurant opened up last week, so we went to lunch there today. My mother had never been to one, so it was totally new to her. The fries are awesome, btw. My son was playing with his balloon and he knocked it into my drink, which landed square on my lap and I was soaked. I wasn't terribly upset, because, what can you do? I had to sit through lunch in wet pants, but that's okay. It was a little funny. Now, you may be thinking that if I find something like this so funny, perhaps I have some mental problems, or some weird pregnancy hormonal thing going on, and you maybe right. But I digress. We got our food and Mama's fish was rubbery and just not good at all, so she sent it back and got the chicken strips instead. After they took that away, I bit further into my burger and found that part of it was mostly raw in the center. So I sent it back to get cooked some more. By the time Mama's chicken arrived Michael had finished his burger. A few minutes later my burger arrived. The chicken was much better and my burger was much better, although I did find parts of it were still pink in the middle, but at least it wasn't raw. Now, you'd think perhaps I'd be annoyed or at least tense at this point, but no. Not a big deal really. Michael took Jamie out into the car because he was tired and ready for a nap and getting overstimulated and cranky in the restaurant. Mama and I finished eating shortly thereafter. The manager comped our entire bill, which was very generous, and of course we'll be back to give them another chance. It's newly opened afterall, so not all of the kinks are worked out yet. So we leave a tip, and the waitress was thrilled. I remember when I used to wait tables that usually fully comped tables didn't usually leave a tip even if the reason for the comp wasn't my fault at all. Anyway, she was a great waitress, so of course we left her a tip based on what we thought the bill would have been. She earned it. So we go out to the car and head home. Jamie was feeling better but still cranky, so I put on his classical music and he went straight to sleep. On the drive home, Michael started telling us about how Jamie is learning to try to communicate more complex ideas. Michael was in the bathroom, but had the door open so he could still hear Jamie and be accesible if Jamie needed/wanted him, and Jamie came in and had his train controller and pointed to it then pointed out into the living room. This has happened often when the train runs into a wall or obstacle and stops moving. He then wants you to "fix" the train so it moves again. But he has learned to do this himself, so Michael was confused as to why Jamie would come to him about this again, so he told Jamie to bring him the train. Jamie then went back into the living room and returned without the train and made the same gestures as before. Again Michael told him to bring him the train and again Jamie returned without it and repeated the same gestures. Michael then said that he told Jamie he couldn't go get it right now. He said he "had to be in the bathroom right now", and couldn't do what he was doing anywhere else. I found this to be enormously hilarious and laughed until I cried and peed. All I could think of was "Daddy needs to be here right now" and imagining him on the toilet. And since I was driving, I had to try to not laugh, which only seemed to make it worse. Oh, and to finish the Jamie story, he couldn't bring Michael the train because it was stuck partly under the couch and caught on some thread. So Jamie was trying to say he couldn't get his train. Such a smart boy.

It's been a while, but we're back!

It's been quite a while since I posted, and so I admit to being a very bad blogger. So I'll try to sum up the past few months.

December was Jamie's birthday and Christmas. Jamie had so many gifts that we actually had to save some for Christmas because he got too tired to open all of them on his birthday. Probably it would be best to open gifts before dinner instead of after next time. We had a nice dinner at Olive Garden, and Lil B came and gave Jamie a betta fish that we've named Alpha Beta. He loved his chocolate cake, too! Here's his favorite present:


Christmas was so much fun. We spoiled each other rotten, but especially spoiled Jamie. Here's another photo:


He started walking a few steps at a time in December, and just in the last week he's started walking pretty much everywhere without holding on. He loves his freedom! He's trying to walk as quickly as possible now, and he's so proud of himself. He got his first molar in, too, and has 3 others working their way down in fits.



In January, he slowly got used to his new skills and started calling out Mama, Dada, and Nana on a regular basis and now uses them when he wants each of us specifically all the time. He's started playing with the dogs. He tries to get Tigger to chase her, and sometimes she tries. He's learning to pet the dogs gently, and Murphy loves it! Jamie has learned to try to throw or roll a ball for Alex, which of course thrills Alex no end. Murphy is desperate for Jamie to play with him. Jamie had his hearing test in January, but when they tried to do the test, he freaked out and they couldn't do it. We'll have to go back again and try a different type of test and hopefully he'll be more cooperative.

We're expecting a new baby in June. We had a level 2 ultrasound in January to look for a CDH, but everything looks good. It looks like the diaphragm is intact, but of course it could have a hernia on the left, but still not be breached by the abdominal organs yet, so we'll keep our eyes open for symptoms, just in case. And at the ultrasound, we did find that the baby is a girl! Her name is Rhiannon, and we'll call her Renna. Jamie will be a big brother, and I think he'll be thrilled and very loving. So far she's just as active as Jamie was, but I haven't been able to feel her as much because the placenta is anterior. Julie got me a fetal doppler for my birthday, and I've been able to hear her heartbeat whenever I want, and it's wonderful! :) I found a doctor in Crown Point who will do a vbac, and I can have my doula teacher as my doula! It's great! We're taking a Bradley childbirth class, and so Michael is getting the training I got from my doula classes. It's been really wonderful. I did find out from one of the other mothers that her doctor does vbacs, including vbacs after primary sections. I did talk to a doctor at the same practice and he wouldn't, and he'd been the one I heard would do them, so I didn't interview any others. Oh, well. I'm happy with my new OB.

Jamie's crib was recalled last June, and I only found out two weeks ago. I found that the manufacturer is giving vouchers to those who had recalled cribs after sending them certain information and photos of labels. We'll be able to get a new crib with a credit of the highest retail value of the crib. I've picked out a crib that doesn't have drop sides and it converts to a toddler bed and to a full bed. We'll have to order it and it should only take a week or two to arrive. By then Jamie will be ready for a toddler bed. He's been sleeping on the mattress on the floor since we found out, and the first night was really rough, but since then he's been a pro about it. He seems to love the freedom of being able to get up and leave the bedroom after naps and to get off and on the mattress to play with his toys, even in the middle of the night.

I've had a few FO since my last posting, but the most recent is a baby sweater for Renna that is just adorable. It's a little too big so it can't be a take home outfit like I was planning, but she'll get some wear out of it once it fits. I still need to make pants to go with it. I have a blanket waiting to be made called Diamonds for Rhiannon. After reading the name, I knew I had to have it. I've been working on a sweater for Jamie, too and I'm about halfway through. Then I'll make the February Lady sweater for me.

Post-op Check-up and General Update

Well, it's been a month since I posted. We've been so busy getting back to life and helping Jamie recover. Now that we've been home, I've gone back to normal TA duties and research. I had a few nightmares about Jamie when we first got back, but I haven't had any lately, thank God. We've been getting the house ready to put on the market. Jamie will need his own room soon, so we'd like to buy a bigger house and despite the current market it looks like we won't have any problems selling ours and buying another nice house. Jamie has been such a good boy. He developed a yeast infection from the antibiotics, and has a recurring diaper rash from highly acidic poo. We heard from the doc today that the rash is likely from the flora becoming imbalanced in his gut from the time he went without food in the hospital (and likely some before due to the pinched bowels) and that it should clear up with some yogurt. Simple enough fix. We also went back to cloth because of his butt issues. Jamie's been a babbling fiend since we got home! He really sounds like he knows what he's saying. He has much greater attention and energy now, and is less fussy just as a general rule. Of course, don't let him get bored! And he fights sleep still. Actually, that's been getting better since we've been able to reestablish night time rituals and schedules. He had been waking up 3 times a night and I was losing my mind! For the past two nights he's only woken up once, and for a week before that it was back to his normal twice a night. So I definitely like this trend. He hasn't fought sleep as hard since we got him back on schedule and with his night time routine, which makes life a lot easier. He is also cruising now and trying to take steps without holding onto things. He can't stand up yet without holding onto something, but it's only habit and not actually necessary anymore. Once he can stand up on his own, walking won't be far behind. He laughs like an insane child when we hold his hands so he can walk where he wants to go.

We had his post-op check up in Indianapolis at Riley today. It went very well, and Dr. West doesn't need to see him for a year. A year! He's just doing that well. She said that there are no medical constraints on what he can do from now on. He's completely normal and healthy and should continue to heal. She was impressed with how fast and how well he's healing. He weighed 20lbs 1oz. That's below what he weighed before he got sick, but it's a normal weight for his age. It's a little low still given his height, but that's okay. We really upped the table food and the calories to bulk him up starting 3 weeks ago after his pediatrician appointment, and since then he's gained 3 lbs! :) He likes his food. Anyway, she told us what to look for in case of ruptures, and said to check his hearing again at 1 year old. There's a 20% chance he'll have some form of hearing loss, though they don't know why the correlation. After talking with her, and having a clean bill of health for my boy, I just cried. I was so happy. Going back to the hospital reminded me of how we could have lost him and how sick and in pain he was. And now he's healthy. It really is like a nightmare that we woke up from. I was so happy, I cried on the way out. Until this appointment, I kept wondering when the other shoe would drop. I kept worrying that he'd get sick again and this time God would say, "Oops, sorry, I meant to take him last time, so I'll just take him now". But it looks like that isn't going to happen. We're so lucky. I'll always be a little paranoid, but at least I know we can go on and be "normal". I'll always get scared when he gets a sniffle, diarrhea, or vomits. I'll always worry about our other children as they are conceived, are born, and grow. But at least I know what to look for, and now I know to trust my instincts. And thank God for all the people willing to pray for a child in need, and thank God for modern medicine to give them the best possible chances, and thank God for answering our prayers. God gave me Jamie twice, first when I conceived him, and second when he survived surgery. I'm just so grateful.

Home and Feeling Great

Walking out the door and going home.

In the Riley Wagon, on his way out.

Dance! Dance!

Eating any solids he wants!

We got to take Jamie home on Thursday the 18th, and got home late in the day. Jamie did so well! He rode in the car and was a happy boy. He slept for a while, played by himself for a while, and I played with him for a while, so the 2.5 hour drive went by pretty quickly. He got a little fussy in the last 10 minutes or so, but I was able to distract him until we got home. He had a messy one, so it's not surprising he was cranky. Then he went to sleep without fussing. Amazing.



Since we've been home he's been a new boy. He's calmer and happier and not so fussy. He likes to snuggle now. We can sit with him on the couch, just holding him, and he is happy. Before, he'd just have a fit if we weren't walking him around or at least bouncing him while sitting. And he goes to sleep for naps and bedtime without having a fit. I rock him and out he goes. No crying! Nothing! And then when he wakes up he plays by himself for a while until we hear him and get him, and he's not upset. Before, he'd always wake up from naps crying piteously. Only in the mornings would he wake up happy. It's just amazing. He has a lot more attention for play now. He will amuse himself with his books and toys for up to an hour now! Before you'd be lucky to get a half hour. He also wants me a lot more. He loves his Mama. I hold him and he's totally calm.

It seems like before I could hold him and it would help, but he'd still be miserable. I thought and had been told that he was just a fussy baby, a "high needs baby". The truth was that he was in pain because his innards were jumbled. But you know what's the strangest part? I had wondered if everything was "where it should be" inside his torso. I even asked the doctor once at his 6 month check up, and she said yeah. She had no reason to think anything so rare was going on with him, and it's pretty hard to diagnose without a chest x-ray, so I can't blame her for not finding it. But it's so weird that I just kept wondering that since he was born. I mean, seriously, who questions whether or not their child's organs are in the right places? He sometimes had breathing problems, but the doc said he was healthy and that it was probably a virus or allergies or something like that. I just chalked it up to being a paranoid first time mother. That's what I've always heard about mothers who constantly question about the things their child is doing, and I didn't want to be unreasonable. FORGET THAT! From now on, I will absolutely trust my own instincts. I will trust my mother's instinct.

Oh, and he still is a feisty boy. He is still my child, after all. ;)

Off Tubes and Feeling Fine

On Saturday we got a room in the Ronald McDonald House. Since I'd slept with Jamie Thursday and Friday (while Michael slept in another room in the hospital) and didn't get more than a few hours each night, Michael insisted I sleep in the RMH that night. After that we switched off. Jamie had some bleeding through his NG tube. They say that happens when it's on continuous suction because it'll grab part of the stomach sometimes and cause it to bleed.



On Sunday, his pain was a lot better. He still had to have his meds on time, the morphine every 3 hours and the Tordal every 8. He was a bit more awake, but seemed unhappy and bored. I it occurred to me to play with him, and he played a little. It made him very very happy. And the nurse brought him a stacked rings toy that lights up when you up the rings on the pole (whatever that thing is called). He didn't smile or laugh, but he was happier. Respiration Therapy puts him to sleep and makes his coughs more productive. He had another bleed in his NG tube. I just hate that. Blood should stay in the body. Oh, and he tried to pull out his NG tube. I don't know what came over me, but the moment I saw him grabbing it, and it was out about an inch or so,I just pushed it back in. And then I wondered, "what was I thinking?" I just shoved a tube back in his body, and did I hit anything? Well the nurse came and checked it out and it was fine. And the doctor said the next day that that's all they would've done, and I should sign up for nursing school. :) We went to mass at one of the chapels and the priest was wonderful! He gave a moving sermon about looking to the cross (or crucifix) and giving up our burdens to God and looking at it not as a sign of suffering (as in Jesus' Suffering, or a symbol of our own suffering) but as a sign of Victory. It's a sign of Jesus' Victory over death, Victory over Sin, and it's a sign of our victory over death and sin and suffering and faith in God. It was something I needed to hear.




On Monday, he smiled! The priest who gave the sermon on Sunday came over and performed the Sacrement of Healing on Jamie. In case you're wondering, it's not "Last Rites", it's for anyone in need of healing. Just because it's also given as the last of all the rites doesn't make it only for the dying. He played a bit more, and during one such time, he looked over at the crib toy and smiled briefly. Such a beautiful sight! Later in the day, he even tried to laugh. He was allowed to have water in small amounts, and managed it no problem. He got a fever late at night and they gave him a Tylenol suppository which took care of it. They also did blood work to see if he had an infection either locally or generally. (The preliminary cultures came back today and so far nothing. The doctor, Karen West who is just fantastic, said it's likely a hormonal response to his labored shallow breathing.) He was also able to go up to 4 hours sometimes before needing his meds. His x-ray came back looking pretty good. His heart had moved over into pretty much the center of his chest. The left side is still thickened, but it looks healthy, as do the lungs. They continued with the Respiration Therapy every 6 hours, which he really enjoyed and his lungs continued to get clearer. He still mostly refused to cough because it hurt to much.



Yesterday, they took out his NG tube early in the morning, and he started playing with Michael right away. Around noon they took out his chest tube. And we got to hold him! It was the first time since I handed him to the surgical nurse for surgery, and it was wonderful! It was an even happier moment than when I held him after he was born. And he tried to stand up and move around, and was much more active and alert and didn't cry every time he moved or was moved. And with those tubes out, we didn't have to make him wear those no-nose arm guards to keep him from trying to pull out the NG tube. And I put a new sleeper on him. Much better than the hospital gown! He had more x-rays, before and after they pulled the chest tube, and everything looked good. No noticeable improvement over the previous day's x-rays, but he still looks good. The lungs looked inflated.

Today, he went as long as 9.5 hours between morphine doses! He's having a much better time with the pain, but now that he can move around and we can hold him and play with him more he gets a little sore from it. They also said he could have soft food, starting slow. He's tolerated it pretty well. The doctor said they might send him home tomorrow! Seriously! Tomorrow! We are a happy family. :) He's also back to flirting with people. It's been several months since he did that! Happy happy day!